My future as a shaman

Further to last week’s blog about growing older and wiser, I’ve decided to pursue a new career. I know that I’m technically retired, but I’m not quite ready to give up on the world of work yet. Paid work that is. I have more than enough unpaid work. I’m thinking about setting myself up as a shaman. I’m not entirely sure what one of those is, but it sounds like a vague enough occupation that could be tailored to my own talents. Such as they are.

The idea came to me when I was listening to Fearne Cotton being interviewed on my favourite podcast, Fortunately with Fi and Jane. I was fascinated to learn that she sees a shaman who she says is “beyond wise”. I like the idea of being beyond wise and thought maybe I could retrain. First I looked up what shamanism is and found the following definition on the University of Minnesota website: “Nowadays, in non-indigenous cultures, shamanism is studied and practiced as a life path. Following a shamanistic perspective, individuals seek to be in relationship with the spirit in all things. They seek to use information and guidance from non-ordinary reality to intentionally form their own life experience”. This is looking trickier than I thought. The shamanic line of work may not be for me after all.

For a start, I have never considered myself to be a spiritual person. A few years ago I was at the Perth (Ontario) Folk Festival and decided to enter literally into the spirit of things by having a tarot card reading. I am quite fascinated by tarot cards – not only are they beautiful to look at, but they carry a mysterious aura of ancient folklore and mysticism. It started badly, however, when the reader (gratifyingly dressed in flowing robes) asked me about my spiritual life and I told her that I didn’t really think I had one. Things went from bad to worse as she revealed profound truths to me and I looked increasingly baffled. The poor woman was obviously greatly relieved when the time came for her to pocket her hard-earned $20 and eject me from the tent. I left, deflated, clutching only a crystal in a filmy bag as a reminder of the experience. If I confess that the crystal and its filmy bag were long gone before I even left the festival you have some idea of my potential to see the spirit in all things. 

I’m no better with non-ordinary reality. I do secretly suspect that reality might be over-rated, but I lack the ability to suspend my disbelief.  I think I’ll have to look elsewhere for a new career. I’ve always fancied neuroscience, where I don’t think there is any requirement to be spiritual and I would imagine that non-ordinary reality is seriously frowned upon. I’ve just discovered something called the Weekend University, which offers neuroscience courses, so I should be fully up to speed by Monday. It’s never too late to start again.