In my imagination I was going to be like Saint Francis of Assisi (minus the beard and shapeless tunic). I bought some bird seed, convinced that all I needed to do was scatter a few handfuls outside every morning to attract a variety of grateful birds into the garden. Eventually they’d come to know and love me, literally eating out of my hand. What has actually happened is that all the interesting birds have been driven away by two massive pigeons, who devour every last seed in the space of two minutes. My handy pictorial guide to our native birds is completely pointless – all I need is a large portrait of a pigeon. This is not what I had planned.
I should know by now, however, that things rarely do go according to plan. A few years ago I decided to knit myself a scarf because I couldn’t find the one I wanted in any shop. They just weren’t long enough. I hadn’t knitted anything since I was a child, but with the help of kind knitting friends, I settled on a design, bought retina-searing bright red wool and knitted quite a reasonable looking scarf. But my gosh it’s long. I could use it as a lasso. If I’m honest I can now see why all the scarves in the shops were much shorter. My dreams of becoming a knitting supremo ended there. Kaffe Fassett has nothing to fear from me.
Then I decided a couple of years ago that I didn’t want to dye my hair any more. There are so many good reasons not to: it costs a lot of money and takes a lot of time; it’s bad for the environment; and it reflects society’s view that while men are allowed to age naturally, women are expected to fight the signs of ageing every step of the way. So I went cold turkey on the dyeing front and decided to embrace my naturally grey hair. Except it’s not naturally grey. Now I look at it, my hair is the same dull brown it always was, overlaid with a sprinkling of grey. Essentially, it’s the colour of dust. I think I might end up dyeing it silver grey or maybe purple, just out of boredom.
Even this blog hasn’t gone to plan. It was supposed to be about retirement, but six months after I started it, the pandemic hit and we were all thrust into lockdown. I thought I’d be writing about travel to far-off places, the fascinating new pastimes I’d discovered, the interesting people I’d met and the sheer luxury of having time. The luxury of time was the only thing I got right. I should have renamed my blog “The best-laid plans”, but I couldn’t face the technical challenges. This past year has certainly been all about new experiences, but not the sort I’d had in mind. I have loved the jigsaws though.
I do love your blogs!
We do have three bird feeders which the goldfinches love, plus the odd robin and very occasionally a couple of parakeets. However, birds are VERY messy and used to spit bits of seed out onto the lawn. But the problems really started when we bought new feeders which at any gust of wind would deposit the seeds from the feeders straight on to the lawn which resulted in the grass being trampled bare by a flock of pigeons (I counted 15 on one day). 😮 So, not to be beaten, we bought saucers to put under the feeders to catch the seeds & bits. The pigeons loved this and used to sit on the edge and eat the seeds! Plan B – we added hanging basket chains to to the feeders. This stopped the pigeons but because the feeders were now like prisons, the chains also put off the small birds as well! So, we are back to our original feeders, have moved them away from the grass, and now have fewer pigeons. 😀
I had no idea that feeding the birds was so complicated!