I know it’s hard to believe, but I have, in the past, been accused of inaccuracy. I prefer to think of it as artistic licence, but there has even been mention of suing me under the Trade Descriptions Act. I think it was a joke. I am forced to admit, however, that you would find very little evidence of disorder in any of my blogs. Quite the opposite. In fact, I have confessed to a lot of organising, sorting, tidying and general clearing away. And a sneaking admiration for Marie Kondo and her exquisite style of Japanese order.
I did write a blog some time ago about how I was going to free myself from the tyranny of lists, and I do still avoid them. Mostly. My shopping list is the main exception, but in the spirit of full disclosure I have to confess that this is based on the seven-day menu plan that I draw up every week. I can’t decide whether to be embarrassed or proud of this. Either way, there’s nothing disorderly about it.
Being disorderly was probably more of an aspiration than an accurate description anyway, although what I had in mind I can’t now remember. Living a life of reckless abandon? Swinging from chandeliers? Leaving my dirty clothes on the floor? Booking a holiday to a place that features on the UN’s list of most dangerous countries? Only the last one sounds like something I might actually do. (In my defence, we have spent a lot of time in Canada over the years, which apparently is the safest country in the world, so we do need something a little edgier to compensate.) I can always blame the pandemic for severely limiting our options, but not only have I failed to be disorderly, I’ve failed to be retired as well.
Naturally I was far too youthful to retire in the first place and stopped working only because my husband decided he’d had enough of his job and wanted to enjoy his life while he could. He said that if I wanted to continue working that was fine with him – he’d tour the world, secure in the knowledge that I was at home earning money to refill the coffers. When he put it like that, retirement seemed like a good option. However, the past year has changed many things and I was starting to feel a bit aimless, so I’ve decided to do some freelance work. There you have it: neither disorderly nor retired.
Although I have failed quite spectacularly on the Disorderly Retirement front, I have made great progress in Letting Myself Go. In the past year or so I have stopped dyeing my hair, rarely worn any make-up and spent most of my waking hours in slippers. Just for good measure, we have let the house go as well – why bother cleaning when no-one is going to see it anyway? It’s a modest success and I don’t mean to show off, but I do feel quite proud.
I’d like to be orderly but am definitely disorderly. I do have a shopping list but only because since the pandemic we have groceries delivered which means that I do have to focus rather than aimlessly wandering the aisles in Waitrose spending far too much on stuff we don’t need. I also have seven-day menu plan templates – I can’t remember when I printed them, definitely months but it might be a couple of years! The think is, I have never yet been orderly enough to make a seven-day plan!
I always think of you as a supremely organised person – you’ve been hiding your disorderliness very well.
You can admit to whatever you want in your blog and I won’t complain (trade descriptions or otherwise).
Just don’t stop writing it!
Thank you. That’s what we all crave – uncritical approval!