Do pirates need a summer wardrobe?

Some people might disagree, but I think that wanting to dress like a pirate is a natural human instinct. Perhaps even a right. Who doesn’t want to wear a tricorn hat and swagger around with a cutlass? Hastings was full of pirate wannabes last week and naturally I was there. I’m not a big party goer – I can only cope with the noise and the chaos for so long – but I do love dressing up. One of my happiest memories is spending an evening dressed as Minnie Mouse. My transformation into Cruella de Vil was also a highlight.

Like pretty much everything else, the annual Pirate Day in Hastings was cancelled last year. It wasn’t looking that promising for this year either, but in the end the pirate spirit triumphed and it went ahead, although it was a little more subdued than usual. You’d think it would be hard to subdue a pirate and they certainly weren’t going down without a fight. And I think what they were fighting for was their right to pose. Hastings Pirates seem to be divided into two groups: the Professionals and the Amateurs. The Professionals are seriously committed to their pirate look and have obviously been refining it over many years. Their outfits are spectacular: leather waistcoats, swagger boots with cuffs folded over at the knee, dreadlocks, lethal-looking weapons and a lot of statement jewellery. These Proper Pirates had obviously not cobbled their look together with items from their own wardrobe, donations from friends and a comedy hat bought last minute from the Flibbertigibbet stall. I am an Amateur.

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All this clobber is very hot, though, and I did admire their commitment to staying in character – the leather waistcoats stayed on and the dreadlocks remained firmly in place, despite the baking sun. Unlike the Amateur Pirate who decided early on that it would be perfectly acceptable to replace her long-sleeved frilly shirt with a stripy t-shirt and swap the leather boots for sandals. I’m not a fair-weather pirate – as soon as the sun came out, I admitted defeat. (Although, confusingly, I think that does make me a fair-weather pirate.) But what did pirates wear in the summer? I wondered. Maybe it was always chilly at sea and they needed all those layers and voluminous trousers to keep them warm.

Not all the Professional Pirates adopted the same look, though. A particularly imaginative pair was dressed completely in white and we eventually realised that they were supposed to be ghosts. She looked a bit like Miss Havisham from Great Expectations and he reminded me of Hugh Laurie as the Prince Regent in the Blackadder series. Naturally, they were star attractions.

Of course being a pirate is not all about posing – pirates are also required to say “arrrgh” at regular intervals. The Professionals were having none of this, but the Amateurs revelled in it and never missed an opportunity to sneer at passers-by and say “arrrgh” in a menacing way. In fact, one of my fellow pirates had a sore throat by the end of the weekend. I think she might have been taking her pirating responsibilities too seriously.

Sadly, it’s all over for another year. But we mustn’t be too downhearted because there is still International Talk Like a Pirate Day to look forward to on Sunday 19^th September. I’m flexing my vocal cords already.