Surely life is difficult enough

Do I really need any more challenges in my life at the moment? Yes, seems to be the answer. One of my long-held ambitions is to improve my French. I studied French at university and was briefly a translator, but that was many years ago and what knowledge I had has receded to the distant dusty ledges of my mind. Not only have I forgotten a lot, but all languages change and evolve, with new words and expressions constantly appearing or being repurposed. Back in the 1980s cookies and spam were both still things you ate.

When I was studying French, people were just starting to use word processors (which were pretty much glorified electric typewriters) and shops were swapping those fabulous old cash registers for computerised versions, but technical terms were still pretty much the preserve of IT types. I learned how to say “computer” in French and that was all I needed. Since then technology has exploded and invaded our everyday language.  Also, my very proper French education didn’t include any slang at all, which I think was a big oversight, but probably the perfect preparation for my dreary work translating government documents. But not for watching “Call My Agent” in French, which ultimately has been much more life-enhancing.

So, always happy to take on a new project as long as it doesn’t involve doing anything too early in the morning, I launched myself into a 30-day French challenge. I have really enjoyed it and learned some great stuff, like the word for glitter, which is les paillettes and I’m sure will be useful in everyday conversation. And I learned the expression raconter des salades, which literally means to tell salads, but is actually the French equivalent of spinning a yarn or telling porky pies, as they say in Cockney rhyming slang. How wonderful is that? I’m so glad I’ve learned these things, but I know what I’m like and a few months from now I will have forgotten everything. I’m like a Teflon pan: nothing sticks.

I did what I always do in these situations and searched the internet for answers. I found a teacher on YouTube who gives tips for learning a foreign language with the minimum of effort. I know this sounds really lazy, but it’s a bit like exercise: if you can introduce a little more activity into your daily life you’re much more likely to stick with it than if you launch into an elaborate fitness regime. One of the tips was to change the operating language of your phone, which I did and I cannot tell you how much entertainment it’s giving me. My email rubbish file is now called Courrier indésirable, which sounds so much nicer than ‘Junk’. It’s also causing a certain amount of confusion, especially now that Google maps is giving me instructions in French. But it’s helping my French and I get all the ambience of France without leaving home. Now that’s minimum effort.