But are gorillas worth it?

In two weeks’ time we are off to Uganda to track gorillas. When I booked this trip about a year ago it seemed like a wonderful idea. I decided that preparation was everything and enrolled at a gym. I had gone to the gym for years, but never really went back after the pandemic. One of the few bright spots during that grim time was the opportunity to get outside for a walk. The sun shone on us endlessly as we strolled through the cities and the countryside, and when I did try going back to the gym afterwards it seemed like such a bleak and soulless place. However, those gorillas aren’t conveniently located on a bus line and I had no choice.

So, I’m fitter than I was, but am still wondering about the whole thing. I discovered that you mustn’t wear blue in African countries because it attracts tsetse flies. Since my entire wardrobe is pretty much a shade of blue, this poses a problem. I did further research into what to wear on a safari. It’s essentially a list of the things you shouldn’t wear: no bright colours or busy patterns, no black, white or blue. And definitely no camouflage, which can be worn only by the military in many countries. What’s left? Beige and sludge green. It could be a challenge. However, I have vague memories of Meryl Streep in the film Out of Africa, looking fabulous floating along dreamily in dresses of tasteful cream and taupe, shaded by wide-brimmed hats. I don’t recall her trekking through the jungle though.  

Have I mentioned visas? The labyrinthine process of filling in visa forms and uploading various documents is a long and stressful process and now I’m waiting anxiously unless they don’t come through in time. In fact, I have resolved never to visit another country with a visa requirement, which might well include the rest of Europe the way we’re going, so I think holidays in Dorset might be the way forward. You can wear whatever you like and there’s no fear of civil unrest.

And then there are the various vaccines needed – is your tetanus shot up-to-date? What about polio? Should you consider a rabies vaccine? I grew up in a country where rabies existed and I never knew anyone who caught it – we were merely advised to avoid dogs that were foaming at the mouth – so I decided against it. Then of course there are malaria pills to be taken. You don’t need a yellow fever certificate to travel to Dorset, do you? All I can say is that those gorillas had better be worth it.