Yesterday I learned that ‘No’ is a complete sentence. Who knew? I think it’s one of those personal growth lesson thingies, the type you’re supposed to write on post-it notes and stick on walls around your house. Those life-affirming mantras like “I am worthy and loved”, “My boundaries matter”, “My children don’t hate me”, “Just say no to tofu”. You know the sort of stuff. I was listening to Jane Fonda speaking on a podcast and she’s the one who said that ‘No’ was a complete sentence, but I bet she’s had a lot of therapy and is well up on the jargon.
First of all, I’d say that, grammatically speaking, it’s not. I think a sentence should have a subject and a verb, which this clearly doesn’t. However, I like the idea that you can say no and not feel the need to justify it. I suppose it can sound rude, but should we always have to give elaborate reasons for not doing things? We say no to children and pets without much problem. I think it all depends on the context – if someone is really going too far (see above “My boundaries matter”), then maybe a short, sharp no is the perfect answer.
I have also learned how to say no in Swahili this week. I am learning a few words of the language before travelling to Africa, although English and French are widely spoken and it probably isn’t necessary. Still, it’s fun and relieves a bit of western tourist guilt because I’m making an effort – just. Tourists are not that popular in some places at the moment: Majorca has been staging anti-tourist demonstrations, visitors have been sprayed with squirt guns in Barcelona and day trippers are now being charged to enter Venice. I’m not sure the fact that I can greet people in Swahili will make much difference, in the same way that I don’t think smiling broadly while saying buenas días will get you too far in Spain.
Maybe we should just stay at home and enjoy the charms of our own country. The UK is the top travel destination for British people and we are adept at wringing every last drop of entertainment from our local area. I spoke about the joys of plastic duck races in a previous blog, and apparently 1% of British adults went metal detecting last year. I would once have laughed at this statistic, but not since I watched the TV programme The Detectorists, which is one of the most exquisitely crafted and tender tributes to friendship and the English countryside I have ever seen. Wield your metal detector with pride I say.
So, what have I actually learned this week? Maybe find enjoyable things to do in your own country or, even better, watch other people doing them on TV from the comfort of your own sofa.