A word to the wise

I’ve just been listening to one of my favourite podcasts – Off Air with Jane & Fi – and they were talking about words they’d like to ban. Not the obvious terms that are blatantly offensive, racist, violent, misogynistic or scatological, but words that are overused or just plain annoying. Their list included hubby, pamper and manifest. I can’t disagree with any of those. Hubby  is deeply annoying in a coy, twee, 1950s, pipe-and-slippers sort of way. Pamper  has far too many “p’s” in my view and it also sounds a lot like pimple. Most unfortunate. Manifest  is just plain silly. How can you possibly think something into being?

I’m also not a fan of the word hun. I’m not referring to Attila and his entourage here. By all accounts, they were an unpleasant lot, but I wouldn’t dispute their right to be Huns. It’s hun  as a term of endearment, a shortened form of honey, that I can’t bear. Really? Just stop it. Although I’m finding myself relenting a bit on this one – maybe I’ll allow North Americans to use it if they must, but it is absolutely not allowed on this side of the Atlantic.

In the same vein as pamper, one of my least favourite expressions is me-time. I can’t bear it. To me, it’s trying to elevate the act of having a bath or reading a book or even eating chocolate to a level of significance that is out of all proportion. It’s also a bit performative, in my view. Now, performative – there’s a word I love. Apparently, it’s a bit of a latecomer to the English language, coined in 1955 by a certain J L Austin, a British philosopher of language. I wonder how we ever managed without it. Perhaps in previous, more direct times people were simply told to stop showing off. I’m just a bit worried that it’ll become too popular and then I’ll have to add it to my own banned list.

As I’m writing this, it occurs to me that this isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned annoying words in a blog. But then I have written so many and it’s hard to come up with new ideas week after week. Or any at all, some might say. But this is important. We need to be on our guard against all attacks on the English language and be prepared to repel them using every tool at our disposal. Attila would understand. For instance, next time someone says “Well, that certainly wasn’t on my bingo card,” look wistful and say “That makes me think of my old Gran. I can still see her in the bingo hall with cigarette ash down the front of her cardigan.” That should do the trick.